'Twas the day of the dentist and all
through the house,
Not a creature was sleeping, not even the
mouse
For rending the air were blood-curdling
screams
Howling and yelling, the stuff of bad
dreams
"I can't go, I won't go, I'm NOT GOING
THERE
The last time I saw him I had such a scare
I can't stand injections, I'm scared of the
drill
If you try to make me, I'll leave home - I
will!"
So when I grew up there were holes in my
choppers
From chewing my way through ten million
gobstoppers
"You are what you eat," said dear
Gillian McKeith
As she looked at the stumps that were left
of my teeth.
So now it was time to give in and be
drilled
And I have to admit folks, I wasn't too
thrilled
At the thought of that terrible,
frightening chair
And the horrible instruments hanging up
there
That nasty cruel man with his jabs and his
drill
And the mindboggling number of holes he
must fill
You can get brilliant dentures these days,
that's a fact
So I think I’ll go home with my cavities
intact.
But now I've walked in and it seems times
have changed
On the table some welcoming mags are
arranged
I can smell rich roast coffee, the
dentist's so kind
She smiles at me sweetly and pulls down the
blind
"There's no need to worry, you won't
feel pain
Injections? you'll love them - you'll say
'Please! Again!'
Just lie there, relax, are you comfy? How's that
And what sort of film would you like to
look at?
James Bond is right here to distract from
the drill
After all as you know, he is Licensed to
Thrill
Or you could have music, Beethoven or
Liszt?
Let me get you a cushion - oh no - I
insist!"
I didn't run screaming in tears from the
chair
In fact I dozed off, it was comfy on there
Soft music, great movie, no pain and no
tears
And so for our dentists, let's all shout
'Three Cheers!'
